apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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