so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
