Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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