I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
