I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
