she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
