YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I am naked and annoyed.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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