When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
im six kinds of drunk right now
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
