dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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