Texts From Last Night

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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right.  I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..

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  (267) 4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right.  I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room.. http://tfl.nu/v238
  Replies (7) Good night (3924) Bad night (881)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.

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  (478): wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward. http://tfl.nu/6j2p
  Replies (13) Good night (1012) Bad night (2134)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.

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  (817): I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone. http://tfl.nu/zv8s
  Replies (28) Good night (2406) Bad night (1164)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.

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  (403): She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse. http://tfl.nu/lj3p
  Replies (16) Good night (5125) Bad night (918)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.

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  (507): and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person. http://tfl.nu/ixis
  Replies (12) Good night (1199) Bad night (6046)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?

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  (703): My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned? http://tfl.nu/h3av
  Replies (21) Good night (1047) Bad night (5385)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up

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  (586): you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up http://tfl.nu/umx5
  Replies (15) Good night (939) Bad night (4413)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.

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  (+44): He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine. http://tfl.nu/yc2p
  Replies (11) Good night (4586) Bad night (1033)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?

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  (724): Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos? http://tfl.nu/mgyg
  Replies (27) Good night (3992) Bad night (1063)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.

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  (304): they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise. http://tfl.nu/xovb
  Replies (7) Good night (1426) Bad night (914)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.

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  (513): He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit. http://tfl.nu/4hrv
  Replies (23) Good night (4423) Bad night (1028)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like

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  (973): Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like http://tfl.nu/re6o
  Replies (3) Good night (4994) Bad night (787)
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  (845): View more from New York

  And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.

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  (845): And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn. http://tfl.nu/8782
  Replies (1) Good night (916) Bad night (397)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.

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  (815): We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever. http://tfl.nu/gebx
  Replies (0) Good night (822) Bad night (577)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.

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  (404): Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs. http://tfl.nu/rj7n
  Replies (7) Good night (827) Bad night (265)

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