you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.