I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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