Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha

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  (410): Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha http://tfl.nu/68fw
  Replies (1) Good night (1124) Bad night (579)
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  (438): View more from Quebec

  I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.

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  (438): I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures. http://tfl.nu/qhtl
  Replies (17) Good night (3139) Bad night (786)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.

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  (254): Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes. http://tfl.nu/elqh
  Replies (11) Good night (647) Bad night (5553)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals

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  (954): He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals http://tfl.nu/66nw
  Replies (59) Good night (3622) Bad night (3066)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.

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  (704): This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'. http://tfl.nu/12fd
  Replies (9) Good night (760) Bad night (2342)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave

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  (630): all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave http://tfl.nu/0ff9
  Replies (10) Good night (2846) Bad night (918)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man

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  (816): He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man http://tfl.nu/qpf8
  Replies (18) Good night (4060) Bad night (927)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.

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  (267): I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it. http://tfl.nu/g3cm
  Replies (3) Good night (1180) Bad night (1543)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am

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  (217): getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am http://tfl.nu/jult
  Replies (2) Good night (1390) Bad night (518)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes

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  (303): idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes http://tfl.nu/2i45
  Replies (2) Good night (954) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.

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  (973): They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard. http://tfl.nu/pxmg
  Replies (1) Good night (1059) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us

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  (508): I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us http://tfl.nu/g48g
  Replies (6) Good night (1025) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.

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  (412): It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here. (740): Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English. http://tfl.nu/ruge
  Replies (0) Good night (693) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.

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  (304): I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol. http://tfl.nu/oqf8
  Replies (0) Good night (296) Bad night (197)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..

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  (562): You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire".. http://tfl.nu/0vru
  Replies (0) Good night (146) Bad night (486)

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