her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I will be naked everywhere
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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