Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this

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  (250): This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this http://tfl.nu/tv14
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen

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  (309): I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen http://tfl.nu/zk0c
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?

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  (303): So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!? http://tfl.nu/9p3z
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  did you hook up at the wedding?

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.

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  (540): did you hook up at the wedding? (1-540): No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth. http://tfl.nu/7cxn
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  (445): View more from Pennsylvania

  We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off

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  (445): We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off http://tfl.nu/9bxu
  Replies (53) Good night (15425) Bad night (770) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.

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  (614): she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you. http://tfl.nu/1wju
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  (619): View more from California

  there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly

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  (619): there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly http://tfl.nu/smco
  Replies (6) Good night (784) Bad night (3545) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?

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  (917): so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question? http://tfl.nu/2bvz
  Replies (6) Good night (3044) Bad night (983) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.

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  (479): Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day. http://tfl.nu/trmx
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  (845): View more from New York

  if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party

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  (845): if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party http://tfl.nu/vtss
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  you also need to get my treadmill fixed.

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  (540): The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours. (540): you also need to get my treadmill fixed. http://tfl.nu/v31c
  Replies (7) Good night (808) Bad night (426)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.

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  (+61): It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys. http://tfl.nu/j3cl
  Replies (6) Good night (482) Bad night (1726) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?

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  (610): Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos? http://tfl.nu/shbv
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome

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  (732): Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome http://tfl.nu/8jcl
  Replies (26) Good night (1946) Bad night (1988) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.

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  (832): Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy. http://tfl.nu/f1si
  Replies (7) Good night (912) Bad night (124)

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