Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried

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(323): View more from California

Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.

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(224): View more from Illinois

States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.

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(818): View more from California

Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(406): View more from Montana

I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.

(1-406): View more from Montana

Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?

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(319): View more from Iowa

Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?

(1-319): View more from Iowa

Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.

(319): View more from Iowa

Thanks bro

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(503): View more from Oregon

So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.

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(312): View more from Illinois

She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.

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