i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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