im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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