Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
