I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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