Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
