bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
