four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
