i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
