I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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