just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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