The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
