youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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