my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's rum buckets o'clock
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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