she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
