capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
