She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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