I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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