I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
