from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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