Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
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well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize