So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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