he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
