NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
