so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
