What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
