So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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