Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
