My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I am naked and annoyed.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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