Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
