Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
