i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I love you. Go after that dick
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
