i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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