Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
