And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize