now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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