I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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