i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
