Duck Duck Cougar?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
