I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
