You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
