i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
