I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
