dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
