My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
