you would pick up someone in the library
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Randomize
