pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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