I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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