He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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