Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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