I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize