does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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