I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
send nudes
from the living room?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
