and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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