You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Boobs are out for the taking
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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