If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
