WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
